I suck.

You gotta wonder about some of the paperwork left behind in an office. We found some pretty strange stuff the other day while cleaning this place out. Figured it was time. No clue who a few of these people were. Yamamoto-soutaichou was...keeping things, I think. Bet at least half of us know bout it, though. Friggen liars. I just don't know what to think sometimes.

If we had a hypothetical squad zero, what do you think they'd do? Already have ninjas.

Life is good, for now. I have sake, my division, a fukutaichou, and I've finished my paperwork.

If you need me I'll be in our training grounds. Houzukimaru and I have some catching up to do.

God. When the fuck is summer break? I need a vacation and I just got here. At least there's sake.

( Private//Hackable If You Desire )

Thank you everyone who attended Sasakibe-san's funeral. I'm sure he appreciated it.

Lots of shit going down. Glad things seem to be settling, though. Eh. Need a friggen coma of a nap to get over this tired feeling.

And I thought it was a load of work before. . .ah well. Suck it up.

Abarai.

If you got the time to dick around with Kira, you got the time to train or do real captain work. I don't want to hear about this war between you two again.

*A butterfly is first sent to the Fourth divison to both Unohana and Kotetsu.*

Tonight, at 22:43, I, Madarame Ikkaku, captain of the First division, found Sasakibe Choujirou dead in his personal quarters. I checked for a pulse, there was none. His eyes were glazed, and he was relatively cold. There was no wound. My only assumption is that he was sick with this recent illness going around. He has been left in his room relatively undisturbed for any investigation you may need. I have the key to his room if you need it.

---

*A butterfly is then sent to the remaining divisions of the Gotei 13.*

It's with deep regret that I message you all this late in the evening. Tonight I found my vice captain Sasakibe Choujirou dead in his personal quarters. I don't know how or the means in which he died. It looks like he died of illness, but I'm not certain. The Fourth has already been informed.

I'm sorry to have to bring you such unfortunate news in these times.

It's only the morning but it's already nice out. This meeting better be quick, I've got a lot of work to get done so I can relax later. It's too damn nice to be stuck in a meeting all friggen day.

Tatsuki, you gonna keep me company? Plenty of room.

( Private to Yumichika )

What a slow damn week. I almost fell asleep on my desk twice. Frig. Maybe if I take a real damn nap I'll be able to stay awake and finish this crappy paperwork. And, thought you all should know I'm hungry.

SOME BASTARD TOOK THE CHOCOLATE I WAS SAVING FOR DESSERT WITH MY LUNCH TODAY. SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE IF I DON'T GET IT BACK BY NOON.

This is war.


I bet it was Sasakibe.

It's been a while since I wrote up here. Busy with work and all. Whatever. It's the weekend and I intend to take a "day off" from sitting in this shitty room. I'm going out for a walk.

Ar- Tatsuki, you coming? I know this great place. You'd like it.

Private
God this sucks. I can't believe the crap they keep throwing at me. Sasakibe is NOFUCKINGHELP at all. Bastard. I should fire his ass. It's like he refuses to do the right thing because I ain't Yamamoto-soutaichou.

Tough.

I let him have his damn tea time, what more does he want?

[To Sasakibe (Who Jayden NPCs 'cause she can)]
Sasakibe, get your ass in here. I've got paperwork out the ass to do and haven't learned all of the division yet. I need your help. So hurry the hell up.

Thanks.

[To Ukitake]
Working on it. It'll take some time from me since I don't know no one, but we'll go as fast as we can. Most of my members were with me, though. We were in a meeting. You'll get your paperwork and pictures ASAP.

[To Vaizard]
I'm sorry. We'll get your friend back.

I could kill this guy.

My room is organized the way I like. No thanks to that guy. All he does is get in the way. Ugh. Had a meeting with the troops. They ain't so bad. I gotta tell you, I didn't think there were that many women in this division. My roster must be incomplete, because I never have looked out at my own squad and seen so many. Not that we have more than a handful in the Eleventh, anyway. It was different. Not bad-different, just new. They're pretty smart people, too.

Kotetsu-fukutaichou, I took your advice and split up some jobs for the seats. Things are a lot easier to manage. Thanks.

Couple a kids asked if I'd train with them. They're unseated officers, little grunts. Ha. I dunno if I should take them up on it or what. This ain't the Eleventh. They might not make it out alive if I did. Going easy wasn't really an option I grew with. Maybe I'll just watch. Do I even have the friggen time?

[To Members of the First]
Rounds begin at 8 and go until 10 every Friday. Bring your own if you want to share. Those of you that don't like it, s'ok. You don't have to come.

Sasakibe-fukutaichou is going to continue with tea time until further notice. Tea starts at 5 and goes until 7 every Sunday.

*Though the machine was turned on accidentally, it was not realized for some time. In the background there is loud banging and much yelling from Ikkaku, only the passive voice of Sasakibe returning to his calls.*

YOU BASTARD. I don't need you organizing my shit! Put it down, NOW! Yeah-right there! Drop it! Hey! GIVE ME THAT. THOSE ARE MINE. SASAKIBE-SAN, I NEED THOSE.

I've always taken care of it.

What's your point? GIVE me the papers! Go away!

Madarame-taichou, it's tea ti-

*Finally, the machine cuts out.*

Uh...Well...

There you have it.

Guess I better start packing...

( [Private to Self//Hackable] )

What the fuck is this shit? I wake up, go to pick up some paperwork, and I see this crap? This is not acceptable. How many of us have to say this before you people feel like shit at what you've done?

If any of you that did this were part of the Eleventh, especially if you were part of my squad, you should consider yourself doomed.

Muguruma, you don't have to deal with this shit. Don't even think about it. I watched your tests and you deserve that seat more than any of us. To hell with these racists bastards. You're one of us, Hollow or not. Got it?

So glad that's over.

Boys. . . Lets go out!